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The Paul Thax Diary Podcast – 26th Feb to 4th March
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Author Archives: Mrs Armitage-Biddy
The Paul Thax Diary Podcast – 8th Jan
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How not to keep your resolutions…
In this weekly podcast, Paul Thax reads a weeks entry from his 2013 diary. Find out what happens when Paul has his recurring terrifying nightmare!
Moving house
April first, 2015. Me, my father and our friend Tony all moved into a large house together. As I am currently moving out of said house into Tonys new house’s sofa/bed settee/bench in the park…
Source: Moving house
Zizzi’s – it pays to Feedback! Absurd Wait and Apology
@WeAreZizzi how long should I expect to wait for my pizza? Been 45min now, run out of wine 😦 here
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@me sorry about your wait V! Did the team sort this out for you? Thanks, Zizzi
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@WeAreZizzi food came but then took ages to fetch bill & then didn’t come bak so we had to go w’out a receipt or we’d be still b sat there now Tweet ac@me sorry about this! Please email talktous@zizzi.co.uk so that we can look into this for you! Thanks, Zizzi
Hi Zizzi,
firstly thanks for giving the opportunity to feedback!
On 4th August my partner and I were out for a romantic meal and chose to visit yourselves over our usual Pizza Express. We’ve been loyal customers of theirs for several years but though just this once we’d give yourselves a ‘go’.
We went to the retail park, venue on the Thursday evening.
We had to wait a while before we were addressed and seated and noticed there was a large party on a table nearby and the place was relatively busy. The waiter was very pleasant and amiable.
It was very exciting to be in a new place and there was a good atmosphere. However the wait started from the get-go. When our wine/water/starter order was taken we expected that would be here in a jiffy – we were sat only a couple of metres from the bar after all.
So my partner went to the loos while we waited, then I went to the Ladies and was not quick as I very much was admiring your decor and retouching my make-up. I think it’s fantastic that you have separate toilets too, wonderful idea!
I fully expected that at least the wine would have arrived as I’d been so long but no!
And we sat for a further age before it finally came.
And then our starter made it too. However that wait before the starter was cleared away was significant and then, as my Tweet said -we were waiting at least 45 min for our mains. Our wine was finished -we only ordered a basic margherita pizza each -nothing fancy. My partner had to ask the waiter if they had forgotten our order as we could not believe how slow it was. And eventually it came.
But then after finishing, I think we’d been there for 2 and a half hours by this point, when we could finally get a waiter’s attention to ask for the bill they took another age before bringing it.
Then again we waited and waited as we wanted to pay by debit card, I went to the loos again to kill time, BUT no one was coming so we scrabbled around to find the cash as we simply could not wait any longer (we wanted to go out for the night afterwards) and just sat there like muppets without drinks as they had long since gone and no one was taking any notice of us.
We realise there was a large party on 1 table and that the place was busy but that is normal isn’t it? We have never experienced such waits at Pizza Express.
We loved the food (and the loos!) -it was delicious -but on balance having to wait so long when you have other plans or/and are hungry/paying decent prices that should cover enough staffing to wait on I don’t know how we could justify choosing Zizzi again. Maybe it’s just that branch? I don’t know but it was really disappointing and put our whole night out.
Thanks again for listening and keep up the good food/toilets -but not the waits!!
REPLY:
Dear V, Thanks so much for sending in your feedback about your recent visit to Zizzi.
It was so disappointing to hear about the service, or lack thereof, that you and your partner received. To wait as long as you did for service is wholly unacceptable and on behalf of the restaurant I would like to apologise.
We take service issues incredibly seriously so I want to thank you for bringing this to the attention of Head Office. I’ve shared your comments with their Operations Manager, Richard Surr, and the General Manager at Zizzi; they will discuss this personally with the team members to ensure we avoid this in future. We should be providing an attentive service to all our diners, however on this occasion we have let you both down.
I can assure you this will be dealt with at restaurant level and has been circulated around Head Office through a Weekly Complaints Report to ensure everyone stays updated with what’s going on in all our Zizzis. This helps us improve our service in the future.
I really appreciate you taking the time to let us know about this and by way of apology for your visit and as a gesture of good will, I will be sending you a £15.00 Zizzi eGift with the hopes that you will come back and enjoy Zizzi the way it should have been. This eGift will be valid at any Zizzi, any time within the next 12 months and will arrive shortly in a separate email (please also check your spam folder).Thank you again for your feedback and I do hope you will give us another chance to make things right.
Kind regards,
Jaska Howe
Customer Experience Assistant
Christmas Narrowboat Experience, or Equivalent *3x REPLIES in kind!
Dear Santa,
we were sorry to miss you on the canal this Christmas time but we found your flyer too late (24th Dec) on a pub table. Can we instead book for 2016, to avoid similar disappointment this year?
We noted that on the flyer it says adults get a ‘hot drink and mince pie or equivalent’ and we need to know what could possibly be equivalent to a mince pie for such a festive excursion?
Possibly the only equivalent could be a portion of Christmas pudding, and that has to be served warm (flaming preferably) and with brandy butter so is rather unpractical, for a barge so maybe your equivalent is Christmas cake? Again slightly awkward in the need for it to be cut up, and also not having dedicated unique casings to crumb-catch such as the mince pie (usually) does.
If you were thinking of serving individual apple pies, even if they be of the famous Mr Kipling variety, simply will not do. Apple pies, even Mr Kipling’s, are in no way festive. And I’m sure I do not even need to mention that mere biscuits -even chocolate covered- again are not festive and so would be out of the question.
We are aware that some shops now sell Germanic and Italian traditional Christmas sweet goods but we feel you must surely not employ these as this ride will surely be a very traditionally English ‘Do’? So no gingerbread or raisin or hard bland cakes please.
Yule log! Yes this could potentially be an equivalent -but again unless with individual cases could be too messy, and I’d hate to think of Santa having to sweep up after everyone.
On another point – is the equivalent only actually available if you run out of mince pies? Have you ever run out of them before?
If on the day we attend you’ve run out may we bring our own? Or would you suggest we get Kitty to make a batch we can bring along, and sell to yourselves as a stop gap perhaps? If we do the latter could we get a discount on our ride? If Kitty for some reason (she may not see the year out you know) cannot do the pies could we fetch Supermarkets Own Brand? And again sell them on to yourselves or even direct to fellow trippers?
Or is the equivalent available on every trip, and not just when (and if) mince pies run out?
If so the details of the equivalent could/should perhaps be denoted on the flyer, unless the equivalent differs every trip of course.
Do excuse us if we are barking up the wrong tree here, and the mince pie equivalent is not actually equivalent in terms of it’s festive nature but rather in size or volume or monetary or calorific value?
Or indeed a savoury equivalent, e.g. pork pie (not especially festive).
Would you consider an After Eight mint an equivalent? Weight-wise it obviously isn’t but depending on special offers, or lack thereof, at the shop it might have a monetary equivalence. And on another note an After Eight Mint is eaten rather faster and so people might feel slightly disappointed as the pie-eaters have a longer snack.
For booking purposes there are four of us who would like to attend, including the afore mentioned Kitty but due to her condition we wouldn’t be able to confirm her definite attendance. Beside myself and my husband our Joycie would like to come but she has mobility issues (bunions) so we would like to know about your provisions for the infirm please. Joycie also has a mince intolerance (veganism), so you can see our imperative for the “equivalent” details!
We wanted to send you this enquiry by letter but my grand neice said to save our stamps and she is emailing this instead.
We hope this finds you having a well earnt rest Santa and look forward to hearing from you (or your elves).
Season’s Greetings
Mrs & Mrs Armitage-Senior
Dinnington
A Brilliant REPLY (Just over an hour later):
Dear Mr & Mrs Armitage (Senior),
Thank you so much for your message. Emails are much the best way of reaching me at this time of year given the treacherous conditions up here. Lapland Post finds it really difficult to get reindeer to pull their sleighs in January because they are all exhausted following the Christmas rush.
I’m afraid that you have found my weak spot with the mention of Stollen. As you know, I originate from Germany, so this wonderful yuletide foodstuff is very close to my heart – well it is rapidly blocking my arteries.
You will appreciate that one has to be incredibly careful about what one claims to offer nowadays. We have had endless grief from passengers claiming that their drink was tepid rather than hot – and don’t get me started on lukewarm!
We will be in court next month. A child is suing Santa for greeting him with “Ho! Ho!” Despite the insistence of by his grandmother that the third “Ho!” was not compulsory, he got in touch with a No Win No Fee solicitor who advised him that he had a good case for misrepresentation.
We debated long and hard about whether to make it “near equivalent” or just “equivalent”. In the end, we decided upon the latter which gives us precisely the latitude to which you so fully refer in your email – apple pies, Christmas pudding etc. However I’m a bit worried that your suggestion of Pork Pie might indicate that you are not taking this seriously. Savoury!!!!!!
As you will be aware, we take our responsibilities to the environment very seriously and we hate waste. You can therefore rest assured that all the food which we serve has been scrounged from supermarket waste bins and is well beyond its Sell By dates.
I think you will have realised by now that we are an incredibly caring organisation that carefully considers all suggestions from the public before rejecting them out of hand.
Why not join us? A Membership form is attached.
Best Wishes.
Rod Auton Chesterfield Canal Trust.
P.S. By the way, we would love to see your good selves, hopefully with Joycie and Kitty, on one our Santa Specials at the end of the year. Bookings will open on 1st September. Ring 07925 851569 for further details.
A 2nd REPLY -also in kind!:
Dear Mr & Mrs Armitage -Senior,
Thank you for your email addressed to Santa and sent to him via Chesterfield Canal Trust.
By now, you will have received a reply from him which he dictated from his January home in Barbados and which was sent to you by Rod Auton, Chief Publicity Elf here at the Trust. Santa always tries to get away to the Caribbean [or equivalent] in the New Year to recharge his batteries.
Everyone here was dismayed that you had missed out on the Santa Specials in December, and also concerned that you didn’t hear about them earlier. So rather than suggesting more trips to the pub, earlier in December, Rod has thoughtfully sent you a Membership form – joining means that you will get advanced notice of ALL our activities; it will be cheaper than frequent trips to the pub for news, and ensures that you stay ‘ahead of the curve’ as Santa’s PR people would say..
Equally important, Peter, Chief Elf on the Seth Ellis has asked me to assure you that both Kitty and Joycie will be in good hands, for Santa’s Helpers at CCT hold First Aid certificates and are there to ensure passenger safety. Bunions, and even poor Kitty’s condition, really shouldn’t phase them.
I don’t know whether you are aware, but as part of North Pole Promotions, Santa has franchised out other Bank Holiday activities, and this enables us to run such activities as Easter Bunny trips [ at Easter]. So, if you just cannot wait until next Christmas to board a boat, we will be offering Easter Bunny trips in just eight or nine weeks!! Our Bunnies are the proprietary pure white variety that Santa has patented, and which come exclusively from the Santaporium. Details of these thrilling trips will be posted on our new website at http://www.chesterfield-canal-trust.org.uk/index.php nearer the time. At the moment, we are not able to supply offer information on egg circumference nor indicative content.
One of the Trust’s boats, the John Varley, based at Chesterfield has also developed a considerable repertoire of trips and cruises around calendar events – offering St Valentine’s Day, St George’s Day, Midsummer’s Day cruises to mention but three. As with all of our boats, we welcome passengers from all over the world, so as Dinningtonians, you would be warmly welcomed.
Thank you very much for taking the time to write to Santa – it is really good to know that people care, and he will be back from holiday in no time – full of ideas for us to put into action.
Warm wishes [though not as warm as Barbados]
Robin Stonebridge
Chair, Chesterfield Canal Trust
A 3rd REPLY!!
Dear Mr and Mrs Armitage – Senior
I am so sorry that you missed out on our excellent Santa trips this year and, hence, I cannot imagine your disappointment. Clearly it is not good to find out about these events until Xmas Eve when the Elves have finished their wrapping and Santa has started his long journey! The Elves must do better next year but I hope you enjoyed your evening in the pub and found something to your taste “to drown your sorrows”. Santa is only allowed out for one day a year and he excelled himself this year. He was able to deliver all the presents the children wanted and more besides but you don’t want to hear that as a result of your disappointment that the Chesterfield Canal Trust did not deliver on this occasion.
I can assure you that we will have places next year as long as you book on 1st September and that apple pies are only for those who cannot abide mince pies. They are suitable for vegans and in price and weight I can assure you they are equivalent. In fact in some cases we buy the the more expensive”brandy laced” version of mince pies on some of our boats. Please enquire, which boat, when you book in September. Equally on some boats we serve the adults real mulled wine but this is a secret which we do not share! Please keep this quiet ….if not I may have to kill you!! All will be revealed when you book.
Meanwhile I hope you do not have a miserable year waiting for Santa to visit again and that a visit from the Easter Bunny might partly be a consolation….. No mince pies but plenty of chocolate. Do you need any special chocolate? As to the medical issues of some of your guests please note their is disabled access on two of our boats.
Best wishes to you both,
Regards
Sarah Stephens.
Hugh Henshall Boat Manager
4th Reply -Nov 2016!
Sent: Tuesday, 22 November 2016, 10:32
Subject: Re: Christmas Narrowboat Experience, or equivalent
Subject: Re: Christmas Narrowboat Experience, or equivalent
Dear Mr and Mrs Armitage [Senior]
You may recall that you wrote to Santa about the trauma of not having heard about our Santa Special trips until 24th December last year, when you found information on a pub table – alas, too late. Everyone at the Trust was mortified that, despite the efforts of our Chief Publicity Elf, there were still people living in blissful [ or doleful] ignorance of our fantastic Santa Special programme in the run up to Christmas.
Just to make absolutely sure that there is no such reoccurrence, I enclose details of all our Santa trips for Christmas 2016, and we hope to see you on one of our trips this year. Should you wish to book on all five routes between now and Christmas, I’m sure we can arrange a Season Ticket!!
Have a great run up to Christmas
Best wishes
Robin Stonebridge
Chair, Chesterfield Canal Trust
Chesterfield
Our tripboat, John Varley, will be doing Santa Special trips on every Saturday and Sunday from 19th November to 18th December and on Wednesday 21st, Thursday 22nd, Friday 23rd and Saturday 24th December.
All leave from Tapton Lock, on the Tesco roundabout in Chesterfield, S41 7JB.
For bookings, ring 01629 533020.
Retford
Our tripboat, Seth Ellis, will be doing Santa Special trips every Saturday and Sunday from 26th November to 18th December and on Wednesday 21st, Thursday 22nd, Friday 23rd and Saturday 24th December.
All leave from the Hop Pole on the A620, Welham Road, DN22 6UG. There is plenty of car parking or catch buses 95, 96 or 97.
For bookings, ring 07925 851569 or email sethellis@chesterfield-canal-trust.org.uk .
Worksop
Our tripboat, Hugh Henshall, will be doing Santa Special trips on Saturday 3rd and Sunday 4th December.
All leave from the Lock Keeper pub in Worksop, S81 1TJ.
For bookings, ring 0114 360 0460 or email hughhenshall@chesterfield-canal-trust.org.uk .
Hollingwood Hub
Our tripboat, Madeline, will be doing Santa Special trips on every Saturday and Sunday from 3rd to 18th December and on Wednesday 21st, Thursday 22nd and Friday 23rd December.
All leave from Hollingwood Hub on Works Road, S43 2PF. For directions, click here.
For bookings, ring 01629 533020.
Shireoaks
Our tripboat, Hugh Henshall, will be doing Santa Special trips on every Saturday and Sunday from 10th to 18th December and on Wednesday 21st, Thursday 22nd and Friday 23rd December.
All leave from Shireoaks, S81 8LP.
For bookings, ring 0114 360 0460 or email hughhenshall@chesterfield-canal-trust.org.uk .
MY REPLY:
Hi Robin (perfect name for the season eh!),
This is so thoughtful and appreciated. I will show and discuss it with Mr Armitage, after he gets back from his ear wax appointment shortly.
We really meant to reply to all your lovely messages originally however we were lost for words! Never in all our days of feeding back to whomever have we received such replies in kind.
I for one am certainly keen to come along and find out exactly what mince pies or equivalent there is, but will be bringing along something to be certain of Christmassy satisfaction.
Best festive regards,
Mrs Armitage (Senior)
Used Hoover – You’re not Kidding!
Hi,
thanks for such quick & precise delivery, that’s second to none!
I was so excited to be getting this as I recently broke mine and found this make and model to be excellent!
I was so happy to find it at a reasonable price too.
Now while it’s described for sure as ‘Used’ and there are photos to show some of the ‘used-ness’ I wish Id know just HOW used it was.It must’ve been used to hoover up something wet, or been washed but not left to dry out before its been used-it STANK 😦
I’ve had this model for 2 years myself and it has never smelt so bad, I think the user had pets and so human & pet hair & skin had clogged the filter and coated the inside of the main body, head and 1 tube. As I’m so desperate to get on with hoovering I have spent the last hour thoroughly scrubbing and washing out the stinky coating and thick goop from the filter, I feel so sick now. I just wish you had accurately described how MISused it had been to inform my buying decision fully.
Thanks
Good Morning
I’m sorry you are unhappy with the condition of the item, we do state it is used, and the pictures do show it is quite dirty.
unfortunately when we test them we are in a large warehouse with shutters open so that may be why the smell wasn’t noted.
If you are unhappy with it, we do have a 14 day returns policy in place should you wish to return it.
Kind Regards
Jax
Feedback I left- NEUTRAL – Filthy & v.smelly definitely not just a catalogue return, been used with wet.
28.8.15
Good Afternoon
Regarding your feedback we would like to point out that this item wasn’t just listed as ex catalgoue, but as a used item, in used condition.
If contacted within the first 14 working days of receiving the item we would have accepted the item back as per our 14 day returns policy.
Kind Regards
Jax
29.8.15
The fact it would be ‘used’ condition was fine and fully expected but it had been MISused -ie with water – and animal remenants, sticky and foul so who knows what damage that has done to the filters etc This is not supposed to be a washing hoover but a dry one.
On an aside the back filter panel does not fix on and so I have to use it with no back filter.
1.9.15
Good Afternoon
You have made reference to wet, was there visible water in the item?
or could it have been wiped out and then not had time to dry before use? causing what is shown in the pictures in the listing?
Kind Regards
Jax
1.9.15
The solidified smelly reddish gloop was all the way down the hose tube as well as throughout the head and as you saw in the body so no, not just ‘wiped’ it was a thick reddy gloop, nothing had been wiped away at all!
V
1.9.15
Good Morning
So it could be that a sweet was hoovered up an has melted. thank you.
Kind Regards
Jax
1.9.15
This is ludicrous, it has nothing to do with sweets, moreover what does it matter what you are guessing at and why are you even guessing?
I’m the customer here and the one who’s manhandled and cleaned the thing out. It stank of pets and was dried liquid coated throughout the machine.
I’m not sure what you are trying to achieve by arguing the toss here, certainly not a good PR job nor good reputation for your company from me or my friends and family.
I’ve used hoovers for years and years, I am not stupid. Ive even hoovered up water myself years ago and learnt what an error that is!
I find it very odd that you are even messaging to and fro about this.
Is this some sort of joke and actually the Managers children bored of school holidays?
I think eBay will agree it’s strange behaviour for a seller.
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So I left Follw up feedback’ to clarify – Expected ‘used’ but not MISused.Odd msgs from seller trying to villify
Hopefully others will check the feedback scores before buying unlike I did
Human Ages
The Human Ages
By Susan P Lampwick
There are 4 known ‘ages’ in history, they are
- Stone
- Iron
- Dark
- Old
There are more ages but for the purpose of this report I shall only claim there are 4. Though most of these ages break down in to sub sets of lesser ages, which in themselves have wide and varied ages inside them, these are also known as periods. These periods are often times of great upheaval or struggle. Which more often than not caused widespread panic, upset, violence and frequent moping about being a bit weepy.
An ‘age’ is any period in history where one specific item or way of living is more prevalent than anything else. For example we are currently living in the ‘playing on your phone or computer when you should be listening to me trying to talk to you, Thomas you bastard!’ age.
I shall now…
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